Terrific Changes in Writing
By: Skye H. and Sarah M.
Welcome to our TERRIFIC page all about ways you can make your writing more appealing. Remember there is ALWAYS room for improvement. Meaning that no matter how many times you edit and revise your writing, it can always be better.
One of those techniques is to not just TELL what you're trying to say but to SHOW it instead. You wouldn't believe what TERRIFIC TRANSFORMATIONS it will make in your writing. For example, instead of saying, "Bees were pollinating the flowers," say, There were bees in every direction ready to pollinate, they went in a swarm to each flower eager to start working. Can't you put a much better visual picture in your mind than just saying, "The bees were pollinating the flowers?" Just keep reading to find out more ways to show and not tell.
Tell~ The butterfly had many colors.
Show~ I saw a collage of colors fluttering over my head. Strips and polka dots covered the butterflies wings.
Tell~ The mountains were beautiful.
Show~ The massive mountains rose above the fluffy white clouds. Everywhere I looked snow was scattered on the ground with animals lurking around.
Tell~ It was a stormy night.
Show~Thunder rumbled in the distance and lightning boomed. The trees were blowing vigorously along with rain pouring down heavily.
Tell~ The statue was huge.
Show~ It was gigantic stretching more than thirty feet into the air. The crown on top shimmered in the light. This statue had legs as high as the ceiling, if not higher; arms the length of a table! It truly was phenomenal!
Tell~ I saw an angry man.
Show~ I saw a man with a scrunched nose, eyebrows raised and a boiling red face.
Tell~ There was a black cat.
Show~ I looked over to see a charcoal colored feline with a straight, black, tail and piercing red eyes. He was approaching me. Oh no!
Besides "Show Don't Tell" there are many other Crafts and Techniques to make your literary piece terrific! (To learn more about these crafts and techniques visit the Writing Crafts and Techniques page). Next in line is using great similes and metaphors. It is terrific to use these techniques because using them will help the reader have a better understanding of what you're trying to say. For example, instead of saying "the ocean was beautiful", you should say "the ocean was as beautiful the ocean glistening in the sunlight."
Before~ I was blinded by the light.
After~ I was as blind as a bat.
Before~ The box was very fragile.
After~ The box was as fragile a butterfly's wing. (quoted from: Madison)
Before~ The chinchilla's fur was soft.
After~ The chinchilla's fur was as soft as a .blanket of snow
Before~ The doll was beautiful.
After~ The doll was a flower.
Before~ The rope was tied around a post.
After~ The rope was tied around the post, tied and knotted, like a snake.
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